Blog, Poetry

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom & Why Words Matter

I have been a stay-at-home mom since 2017, and social conditioning, and random comments from random people, have always made me doubt the worth of what I’m doing. Now, after being a stay at home Mom for around 5 years, I can say that I feel more confident of myself and more aware of my worth. But still, there have been so many times, when people have made rude comments about it, and each time, they have pricked my heart a little, with their words. I still haven’t been able to wash the tough conditioner left in my mind by society completely, but day by day, I can feel it’s effect wearing off, and I can feel the sense of freedom that comes with it.

If you know a stay at home Mom, tell them that they mean something…that bringing a paycheck home is important, but raising kids is no laughing matter either…that being a stay at home mom is not an act of leisure. Appreciate their hard work, acknowledge their challenges, celebrate their achievements. And above all, be kind to them, because chances are they are not being kind to themselves. And if you are a stay at home mom, realize your worth. Don’t let anyone make you question it.

Here is a poem I wrote on the subject, after a rude comment on stay-at-home moms by a complete stranger during an Uber ride:

Stay-at-home Mom & Proud

Hi, I’m a Stay-at-home Mom.

Also referred to, at times,

As a housewife, or a homemaker.

When you speak to me,

Or speak of me,

Remember a few simple things.

No matter what label you pick,

Remember that it won’t define me,

Or decide my worth.

Remember that I’m not answerable to you

Or the society you represent

For my choice, for my decision,

For my reason,

To put my dreams on hold, or follow them

In my own way, in my own time.

Remember that your opinion

Doesn’t apply to my life

Or my family.

So, keep it to yourself

Or share it gently.

Don’t pass it on to me as a burden

Meant to be carried by my strong mind

And busy shoulders.

Don’t pass it on to me as a verdict

Meant to be followed

Despite its irrelevance or inconvenience

To my life, my dreams, my vision.

Remember, that I don’t need to prove

My worth to you,

Or share with you my achievements,

Or the fruits of my labour.

So, next time you speak to me,

Remember that I am a stay-at-home Mom,

A “human” who doesn’t just stay at home,

But holds it together like a pillar strong.

A human who can choose her own labels,

Decide her own worth,

And measure her own success.

©️Pebble in the Ocean 2021

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